Abercrombie and Fitch – Moose Killer?

6 10 2008

The first thing the costumer said was, “That moose is real!”

Why yessir, the moose is real. And that canoe was stolen from a small native American tribe in Oklahoma. Oh, and those mannequins are refurbished cadavers! You’re quite astute.

Abercrombie and Fitch is a clothing store, people. Nothing more and nothing less. In fact, that Hollister  store everyone loves over A&F is owned by A&F. That’s why all the clothing looks similar!

So why does everyone assume the worse of A&F? Its a clothing store, not a moose killing, canoe robbing store.

But, my friend (who works at A&F) has more costumers ask her if that moose’s head is real. Never-mind that its so obviously fake and that every other A&F has an identical looking head. Because, you know, all moose look a like. They’re all really, really big and really, really strong and harder than hell to kill – and completely identical. Oh and don’t forget, A&F has killed so many they’ve endangered the animal.

Hatred for A&F is amazing and its unique. How many people complain about American Eagle? Or The Buckle? They sell clothing that’s just as suggestive as A&F. In fact, JCPenny’s does. So what, they’ve pictures in of people half-clothed or not in the front. They’re a store and that’s advertising.  

They’re not hurting you or your family. But people hurt the store. Vandalize the posters in the front, steal piles of shirts, and accuse A&F of killing moose.

So, indeed, yessir – we kill moose and steal canoes and dress up refurbished cadavers. Not only do we kill moose, we kill all the identical ones. And all those canoes, we made sure to get them alike too. And those cadavers, well, we just about put enough layers on them to keep them from rigor mortis.

Welcome to the world of A&F.

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